Thursday, December 6, 2012

Friends...



What is a friend?
In one word:
Loyal, trustworthy, awesome, amazing, happy, encouraging, optimistic, friendly, loving, caring, helpful, talented, cool, sweet, kind, honest.

Why is it that some friends may be harder to be friends with and some are just seem so natural.

Different people bring different attributes out in us. Some of us have one best friend; some of us have five different best friends.

Some friends we will have for the rest of our lives, and some just come and go. Some we can live with and some we cannot live with. Some you can go on road trips with and some you can only stand for a couple of hours. There are some friends that you want to literally do everything with, merely because you just fit. You want to share experiences and adventures to cherish for the rest of your life.

Either way there is nothing wrong with either of any of these types of friends. Either way you will have friends that bring out the worst and the best in you. Either way you will grow and you will fall, but in the long run friends are the people that put the color in your life.

I am a person that has always had hundreds of friends, they knew me, and I knew them. I was a floater. I knew everyone in my graduating class in high school and have many many friend groups in college. I’m at a point in my life where that is biting me in the butt real hard. I have hundreds of friends still, about 5 best friends and one best of best friends. But with all of this sometimes I still get lonely. Sometimes I feel like I do not have anyone to hang out with. Sometimes I have no one to just hang out. and I have never lived with any of my friends, all my roommates have been random.

This makes me think that I’m loved from a distance. All of the time I just wonder what part of me do they not like me, that I can’t live with them? It may be the hardest thing to hear when your best friend tells you that she doesn’t want to live with you. How do I not take that personal?! I’ll love you from a distance. You ask yourself why can’t you just live by yourself? Because I am like a dog who gets their energy, excitement, life, from other people.

I am loud, I am crazy, I am hyper, I love to laugh, I am calm, I get sad, I encourage, I’m goofy, I love to watch people, I love inside jokes, I love to learn, I love the little things, I love to ask hard questions, I love to understand, I love to cuddle, I love to listen loud country music when cleaning my house, I love to run errans, I love to get texts that make me smile, I love mail, I love my experiences, I love the ocean, the grass and the sand, I’m organized, I’m patience and I try my hardest to be optimistic.

So why do we feel lonely and feel like we have no one when we really have a lot? When we walk through our door after a long day, or a great day, do we feel at home, or is a burden? Do we have to have our friends everywhere, or does living with random’s not the best thing that already has an established “group” of friends. Or do you have to sacrifice and live by yourself when you love being around other people.
What do we do with this loneliness?