When you are told something for so long in your life like,
you’re not good enough, you’re fat, you’re dumb, you’re easy, you start to
believe it. “It” starts to become your identity. When you take things, even
when you shouldn’t, that starts to become you as well, like blame or guilt, or
shame.
Have you ever felt like you have done everything you can to
the ones you love most, you’ve given up sleep, you’ve changed your plans, you’ve
taken the screaming, you’ve given up what you want, you’ve given them a safe
place when they needed it most.
Have you ever had the blame on you when it shouldn’t have
been? When people blame you because you will take it, because it is easier than
fighting about it. After being blamed so much and then finally trying to stand
up for yourself and take the blame off of you but they don’t let you not take
the blame.
When things are going great and then you mess things up
because you were trying so hard to do the right thing, but that’s not what they
wanted, but they didn’t tell you what they wanted, the blame is put on you.
When doing the right thing is already hard in the first place and then when you
try, things go wrong.
Why are people so hard to figure out!?!
Why is blame and guilt such a horrible but easy feeling to
feel? Because to be honest I have had blame and guilt on me my whole life, now
how do I shake it off, if for me it is easier to just take it and not fight.
And why is it always the people that we are closest to? The people
closest to us have to be the strongest to us, or they wouldn’t be around
anymore.
You tried and they won’t see it, they also won’t fight to
really know what is going on because of the lack of communication or the
miscommunication.
So don’t fight for anything but what you were originally
fighting for. I won’t give up.