Sometimes we don't get that. We have mother's and father's who weren't there. We have inconsistent parents who didn't know how important it was to be in their child's life, until the child grows up and sees the hole it left in their heart. Or maybe we had really great loving parents who was very involved in our lives and always made sure we were okay emotionally, spiritually, and physically. These parents knew the important of a child and what it meant to be nurtured and have that natural healthy attachment.
Without parents two things can happen. One you can never attach yourself to anything but to unhealthy things, like drugs, alcohol, and sex, because these things are always consistent and they will always make you feel good. This one you usually move from one to another and don't know it's an attachment problem. Or two you attach yourself to people who care about you, but aren't consistent and leave a lot. But they help them and feed them what they need when they need it. This type usually knows that they have attachment problems.
Where we invest our love, we invest our lives. Time, effort, emotion. It becomes a part of who you are. We become attached to things, and sometimes not even knowing it. We get comfortable with what we have, we get comfort from that person or that guy/girl, or that movie, because we invest our love into them or it.
All through my life I attached myself to older women due to trying to find the comfort from a mother that I never had. These women mentored be, understood me, prayed with me, and even sometimes saved my life in hard situations.
But in life things aren't usually there forever. We lost people, things, or interest. And with that comes hurt. A piece of your heart that you invested with all your love is now gone. And usually one side is hurt more than the other, because usually one side has control over most of it.
A friend is there to help but not to be attached to. And we tend to not know that we are attached until we lose it.Until it is gone and we feel like we have nothing else.
But you also had most of the control because you knew you were attached and you didn't do anything to stop it or change it, it seems to be your fault. To me it is always my fault. I find my comfort in people and not always in the Lord, and that right there is going to leave me hurt, because no one can fill you up like He can.
What are you attached to? Is it healthy or will it leave you hurt and empty. How much control do you have over your attachments?