From the ocean floor to the tops of the mountains...

I lived on the beach for the last 3 months, now I am going back to school living in the forest. Yesterday, I broke down because I couldn't get away and go for a surf because I am in Arizona now. I have to find a new get away place. So today I went on a long bike ride to a place I've never been or explored yet. Not much around, you can hear the freeway, but can not see any buildings, the birds are loud, the grass stands tall and green, the trees make the blue skies stand out even brighter.

I just sat there and realized how calm everything is, the the grass just gently sways in the wind and the birds chase each other. It was quiet. The ocean is so powerful whereas the forest is so calm. I love both spots it just brings different parts of me out. I get excited when I'm in the ocean or on the beach or in water, but when I go into the forest I get an overwhelming feeling of calmness. I realize how small I am in both places but I feel like the forest is easier to stand up against a tree and say "wow this tree has been through drought, fire, floods and much much more and it is still standing tall." I can stand tall.

I can be powerful and have a lot of energy but I can also be calm and just be still. It makes me think more than the ocean does but I am still calm.

What a big world. And I am only a part of such a small part of it. But I still matter.

Your Happy Spot...

We all have a place that takes us out of our world. That makes all other life stop and all you think about is your breathing, or how amazing you feel. This spot we have to work for sometimes, sometimes not, but more likely than not, you have to work your butt off to get to that spot of sanity.

This last summer I have gotten the amazing chance to surf everyday. I came in loving the ocean, but not really understanding it much, because I did not spend much time in it, to having it be where I find my sanity.

I live on the beach the last 3 months and during this time, I have learned how the ocean works, I have seen, touched, licked,  and stepped on things around and in the ocean. I get it. It is a part of me. I have picked up surfing pretty fast I'd say. I have gotten frustrated, sad, jealous, and completely joyful with surfing. How you surf is how your attitude is that day, and most of the time I get out in the water and I will see how I'm really feeling by the way I'm surfing.

I have been spoiled by surfing at some really neat places. I have learned to get through some freaking huge waves. I have seen a shark about a hundred yards away. I have surfed with dolphins give or take 5 feet away from me, along with taking a party wave with a dolphin.

I have realized that I have worked really hard at surfing and when get in the water the world fades away. I don't care who is on the beach, or what I look like, or how I look nose diving, I am in my world. Yesterday I went for a long surf with about 4 other people and they were talking to me and I totally wasn't paying attention to them, I was focused in my world, of me and the ocean. I was probably thinking about how clear the water was, or looking for the next wave, or how perfect the temperature was, who knows but they laughed because I was completely in my own world, and they caught me.

When I miss time when I run out there and catch a big set I almost give up and just come back in and let it go by and then go back out but most of the time I am half way and either way I go is the same distance, so I fight and get out back. Some times I am so sore I don't think I can do it much longer and then 3 hours pass by and I have to get out because I am staving not because I am tired.

The most amazing feeling in my life is when you see a huge set coming in and you have to paddle out so you don't get smashed, and you paddle right over it as it breaks a foot away from you and you feel the mist and the strong wind that blows by from the energy of the wave.

The excitement that run chills down my back, gives me energy for the next wave I catch. I love when I can completely tell when and how I'm going to catch my next wave, and it comes from the confidence I get when I get those chills. Surfing has a lot to do with confidence and with commitment, because it is not going to stop for you.

The complete silence from the world, and the only thing you can hear is our board ripping through the water and the wave crashing behind you, is one of the most peaceful things I have experienced.

The ocean puts me in my happy spot, the ocean takes the world away for me. We all have a spot and need a spot like this. Yours may be behind a book, or the moment you put your running shoes on, what ever it is, do it more, you need that time for yourself. Find where the world melts away and you melt into what you are doing. You will find out how strong you are, because you have worked so hard that know you can actually appreciate it all.

Role Model

I have had the opportunity to love on 12 girls for 2 weeks at a time the last 6 weeks. Most of these girls come together for these two weeks once a year, for many years. Most of them are best friends and spend most of their time together. They love each other and they have grown in different ways but they still come together once a year and just pick up their life, like they haven't missed a day.

I have had the chance to teach them all different things, some of them came up to me and specifically ask me for advise some of them just asked hard questions, and others just want to get deep as a cabin, as a family and has a group of 12 girls who need someone in their life.

We get deep, we cry, we laugh, we break fears, we try new things, we fall and we stand, we live life for two weeks and then we have to leave. How do I teach them as much as I can in those two weeks, how can I make them the best version of themselves in two weeks. They go back to their lives, their reality. I try my utmost hardest to keep camp real but fun. Yes they get a break from their phone and friends and family, but going back is some of the hardest things, I ever experienced as a camper, because camp is not reality.

The girls need a role model that actually care for them and love them and will push them to be the best they can be, I am just a resource to help them do that. They matter, they are loved and I want to show them that. I get paid to show them that.

Over Head Mist

Waking up early to go on a beach walk with 12 of my girls, we walked out on the beach and saw that there was a break in the morning ocean mist. Through the break you could see the clear blue sky with scattered clouds. The sky was bright, clear and crisp. The clouds were white as snow, fluffy, and almost perfectly spaced out.

We you remove the dirt, the grim, the mist, you can see how beautiful something, or someone really is. Most of the time in  California you have to wait most of the morning to really see the sun and clear sky, you have to be patient, you wont know until it breaks.

About 4 years ago, I drove by a really bad car accident. I saw a white sheet on the ground, a lot of glass and it all taped off. I knew exactly what was underneath that sheet, we all do. They have to cover up the hurt, pain, dirtiness. In this situation, there is no goodness underneath the sheet, but sometimes when we wear masks and hide our hurt and our pain, we also hide the goodness, the beauty. Wearing mask sometimes makes us look, feel and act dirty, and underneath it is beautiful.

Just like when we remove the mist, we can really see the beauty behind it all. We can remove the real pain, the real hurt and see what is really beauty and clean inside, but it has to break or burn away for us to see even a little bit or the beauty.

What is your mist? What is hiding your beauty? What masks are you wearing?

Bright Burning Embers...

Have you heard the saying "You are the brightest crayon in the box"? I never really liked that saying because every color has it's own importance to it.

As I was camping at San Onofre with my group of kids for our four day camping trip, I was mesmerized. Listening to the stories, I saw that the burning embers from the log twinkled as the oxygen came and went from it. As I saw this, I thought that we all need certain things to make us the brightest we can be. For the embers it is oxygen; for us, it may be food and water to keep our bodies bright and healthy but for out souls we need the Trinity.

The Holy Spirit gives us the feelings, God created, and Jesus sacrificed, are somethings that keep us burning. Without these things we burn out and die. You no longer shine and we longer bring light to this darkness. But someone or something may come along and blow on you to give you some oxygen, until you get bright enough be one of the brighter embers. We all may a little extra oxygen to give us that little extra push, and it is usually when God steps in. He saves the day, you comes by and blows on us so that we re-light and can shine light into the darkness again.

We are all hot burning embers, how bright are you? Do you need a little more oxygen or are you shining so bright you give off fire and heat? Do you need a little more Holy Spirit, Jesus and God to bring you to a glowing ember? What do you need to be the brightest burning ember?