For someone else...

 Have you ever heard the question are people were created good people and socialized to be bad or are we created bad and just taught what good and bad is. This is a good question, but I think what I have come up with is that we are created to as good people but in our world, we have realized that we have to be selfish to survive and therefore we will do anything to put ourselves first.

The last two weeks I have found this to be very true. People suck. However, people only suck when they are selfish. If it doesn’t affect them directly it doesn’t mean anything.

Have you ever try to do a nice gesture for someone and they just bush it off or not even notice it. Have you ever gone way out of your way to simply show people that you love that you care about them? They don’t get it. They don’t see how much you put into it or how excited you were for it and got nothing. People are selfish. 

 

Yes I am selfish as well. I don’t get excited at things I probably should. Or I’m not as thankful as I should be. I suck. I get mad at things I shouldn’t. I bush little things off. I say no when I should say yes to letting people do things for me. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I do try and I try very hard. 

They say it’s the little things that matter, and it almost seems like these little things are over looked now-a-days. Why don’t people do the little things anymore? They still matter. 

What are you going to do for someone you love today? Wash the dishes, buy some flowers, call them at work just to tell them you love them, clean the house, have a coffee and chat, watch the baseball game on even though you rather not, take a walk, send a gift, surprise them with more than they expected, etc. 

Do something for someone else. It will make you and them feel better.

That bug that always bugs you.

Do you have things in your life that bug you to no end. You think you have killed it and over come it but something or someone brings it back up. This bug for me is feeling worthless and unwanted.

Have you ever felt that way over and over? Even if people tell you over and over that they care about you and love you but something pulls you apart like time or distance or both. Over time without being told that they care about you, you almost start to forget and then that bug comes back and just eats at your heart.

What is your bug? Your self image, your looks, your shopping sprees, depression, jealousy, school and grades, relationships, failing, caring too much, ect... all these things we continue to struggle with and we go through seasons of them coming easy and other times are extremely hard. But I hope and I wish you have people around you that will help you and support you during these struggles. You have to remember that people can't read minds, so keep up with your communication.

Make this bug of your smaller than you think it is. Reassure yourself and love on the people around you. It will rub off and they will love you back. Don't think of yourself so harshly.

The Waiting Game

Have you ever played the waiting game? Where all you are doing is waiting around for everything. You wait for your spouse or your parents or your siblings to come home, you wait for dinner to be made, you wait for your friends to respond so you can hang out, you wait for the next vacation, you wait for the next job, you are waiting for everything. Time seems like it is not on your side at all, you feel more and more lonely the more you wait. You start to sleep in longer because you rather sleep then wait. That is where I am at right now.

I got out of school a little over two weeks now, and my summer job doesn't start for another two weeks.
I am in the waiting period. I don't have many real friends and the friends I do have here, most of them aren't real friends, so I wait for their responses for them to tell me that they have no time for me.
I wait for my parents and brother to get home so I'm not alone anymore.
I wait to see if my mom is going to cook dinner and by 8pm I'm staving I figure out that she is not making dinner but by that time I'm to tired to cook so I just don't eat.
I wait for my dad to tell me that he doesn't have that much work for me, so I go to work with him and just bored waiting to go home.
I wait to get a phone call from my best friend but end up not getting anything because she has a life and works and is too busy for me.
I wait to go swimming but I find that no one likes to go swimming if they have a pool.
I wait for my mom to come home so I can have the car so I can have some freedom.
I wait for text messages that never come back with a response.
I am waiting to get to my summer job, because I know I will have people around me and a purpose to my life.

But this waiting period sucks. This month seems like its not worth it. It seems like I have no purpose in life. I feel like a waste but I know I am not, I just have to wait.

But why do we have to wait? What are you waiting for? Why can't we find something we like and put it into a hobby and let time fly by instead of crawling by.  I have no hobbies right now. I'm bored and I'm uninterested in everything. It's a game, and I'm losing because I am waiting and I am not having fun.
 
Waiting sucks.