Do you ever have "those days". And you aren't allowed to have "those days" because you have "that job". Those days where it hurts to get up, everything you do takes the energy out of you, and its hard to fill in empty time. That job that you have to be happy all the time. You have to make an impression to everyone and you feel like anything you do you fail at it.
These days suck. No one understand that you can't do anything about it you just kind of have to let it happen. You have to just slap on that fake smile, that lame laugh and go with the flow.
What if you are leading a group of kids? You can't be down, you have to have energy, you have to fill their time with something. You are their day, they rely on.
So what do you do? If you keep faking it, it will get worse. Some days you just can't do it. Today was one of those days, but I couldn't show it and now on my off time all I do is criticize myself and get more and more depressed but still can't do anything about it. Isn't your time off suppose to be rejuvenating and relaxing. So what do I do? No one will understand it, no one gets it.
I just have to keep going.