Sunday, January 27, 2013

Observation: Best Friend?

Lately I have just been watching people around me. Professors, family members, parents, friends, friends family members, children, and even strangers. As I watch them different thought enter my mind, like "I wonder what kind of parents you grew up with," or "do you and your best friend hang out all the time?" or "I wonder how often you get lonely," or "who is your best friend?" or even "are they happy with their job."

These are all questions I am asking myself, and want to know who all around me may be feeling the same way. And I am coming to the conclusion that most of the people around me are lonely and want to hang out with friends more, but yet no one does much about it. We are suppose to live in community together with each other.

As I look at the best friend groups around me, most of them are always together. They are literally living life together. Some of them have a life outside of each other and others do not. Some of them live together and so do not. So what do it mean to be someone's best friend? Why does this matter? Do we need a best friend? Do all the friends around you have best friends? Do they take pride in their best friend? Do you take pride in your best friend?

 These are all question I've been struggling with because my best friend is a part of me and that is okay to me, yes I think it is healthy to have a life outside of them but I value the time spent with her and I cherish her. Why because time after time she has shown me that she cares about me. We teach each other things, we laugh, we cry, we are goofy and we have inside jokes. We are living life together.

Now what if someone came in and said that we couldn't be best friends any longer, or what if someone came in and said you can't hang out when you want you can only hang out two days a week or a max of 6 hours a week together. When every other friend group around is doing fine and living life together and what not, and all you want is your best friend back in your life. That would be hard right?

What would you do? Just let it be? Fight for the other person? A best friend is okay to have, I think. I think it is a healthy thing to have. But that is just me. What do you think? Have you have ever thought about it? Who is your best friend?

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Sometimes...

I meet with the dear friend of my that gave me the idea that life is a road trip a couple of days ago. We caught up and i told her how my break up and how I'm doing and she just looked at me smiling and says,

"You have been on a dirty road the last couple of months, but you know what I can see the pavement ahead, things are going to smooth out and things and you are going to get back on the highway."

I took an exit without even knowing it because I ran into it. I stayed at this exit for longer than I should have. It was beautiful, it was an adventure, it was what I needed at the time, but because I stayed longer than needed, it started turning dark and lonely leaving me and others hurt.

Now I'm getting back on the freeway, not looking for an exit just looking at beauty around me. I have a lot of sorry's to say, asking for forgiveness but telling them that I am going to be okay. I also have many people to say thank you to, for loving me and being right next to my side the whole time.

I visited Minnesota for a week and a half while I was on break and my father took my to go walk on a frozen lake for the first time in my life. As I am standing on 13 inches of thick ice, I am amazing at the feeling it gives you. Its not humble but empowering. Water being my favor element giving me the power to stand on it.

Who cares about frozen lakes. I do. I care about the empowerment that the Lord gives us. I could have left that exit i was just on a lot sooner than I did, but I wanted to know how far I could go, too see what was next, more adventures out of it, and the Lord gave me the power to say when and I choose wrong.

I do not have the wheel, but I do have some of the power to say where I want to go and when to leave.

I'm getting back on the road.

Monday, January 14, 2013

And tie it in a bow...

What is attachment?

Isn't it a form of love?
A mother is attached to her child because she loves it so much?

Isn't it a close bondage?
Two people become attached through shared experiences.

Yes there are negative attachments like being attached to something that can harm you. But there are also a lot of positive attachments like loving and caring for something or someone.
When you're attached to someone they make you feel safe you can rely on them more so than others. Why is that a bad thing.

There is something that makes you attached to this thin or person. It is that it makes you feel good, happy, free from worries. And that is good to get away from the world sometimes. And these things or people bring the best out in us. But my question to you is, when does it become unhealthy,. And how do we know its unhealthy, then what do we do about it?

It's our human nature to be more attached to what is good in our lives that what will destroy us. It's our human nature to get attached, so why can it be so harmful?

And if attachment is harmful but attachment is a form of love, and love can hurt then why does attachment hurt? Why can't we just be okay with attachment as a form of love?

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Want vs. Need

As humans I think one of the biggest mix up's we have is the understanding of what we want and what we need. What makes this mix up important is the attitude behind it all. A positive attitude or a negative one.

Think of it like this, "I want a cup of coffee," and "I need a cup of coffee". When we say I want a cup of coffee it is more postive and you enjoy it. When you say you need a cup of coffee, it is more negative and its not a desire but a grumpy mood.

So what do you do when you want and need the same thing? We will just keep the same example, What if you wake up and you need coffee and  you want coffee, well good news, that's a great thing. When we want and need the same thing, I personally think that it is a very healthy thing. Why is it good, becasue then you want what you are going to get. It is like needing a vacation and wanting a vacation and when you are wanting it, and your boss comes in and says "you need it get out of here, see you in a week". It makes the vaction so much better.

Or a lot of us need certain people in our lifes, they bring things to us, to make us happy, to feed us what ever it may be, but when we want them it makes that need so much better. Let's take parents for example. We need our parents for at least a good thirteen years, to help us grow up strong, smart, and mature. Then we grow up and we don't need them, we can drive after a couple of years, we can find a job, buy food, make food, and how to get by in life. But what is great is when we want them in our lives, to help us, to be a good influence, to have fun, to listen to stories, and we create a friendship when it turns to a want and then your parents are a good thing in your life.

What about relationships? In the beginning you want each other. You love what they wear, their smell, their touch. You want it all. Then you get married and get a house together and maybe some kids, now it has turned into a need. They need to be home to help you with the kids, they need to work so they can help with bills, and the want starts to dwindal.

So what is it that you need and want? If you need something or someone but don't want it or them, then maybe something needs to change. You should want what you have, and if you lost it, it would hurt.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Who are the Hardest People to Love?

Why do we have the tendency to be so selfish? We are the most selfish when we are the most down, the most empty. It's a way of crying out. But being selfish only pushes people away which leads you to more emptiness and more down, which causes you to become more selfish and more careless.

So how do you know when you have hit rock bottom. What does it take for you to know that something has to change with in you. You can't keep blaming others, you've pushed them away. You can't keep wanting what ever you want, no one is going to want to be around you. You've been around selfish people, and they probably aren't your favorite people.

It is a vicious cycle. What does it ultimately come down to though. Selfishness comes down to the act of not loving anymore. You stop loving others and caring about others, because your eyes are on yourself, and hopefully you aren't in this cycle for to long or else you might loose everyone around you that really loves you, and is trying to stand by your side.

Being selfish is only going to lead you down into someone and something you don't want. You maybe hurting right now and not know where it is coming from or how it got there, but that doesn't mean you push the closest people to you away.

Selfishness isn't the end of life, it's the end of living. Say sorry, get the people you hurt back, care again. It is a want that you have lost, not a need. Go get them and put your hurt and your pain aside for a day and see what happens. I guarantee they will ask you how you are doing, how your day was, what today and tomorrow look like for you. I bet if you ask them first and actually care about the answer they will care about your answer to, not just to know what your doing, but because they care about you with all your heart. It just starts with one simple step, saying I'm sorry and actually meaning it, after that you'll know what to do.You may have to change this in side yourself, back to what you use to be, and that is okay.

Its not easy, have patience and grace.